what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize