Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
