i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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