I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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