I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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