I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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