I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I need to sanitize my soul.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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