Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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