Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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