"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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