she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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