I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
