Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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