He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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