Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
