i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize