I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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