I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
All the doctor said was why
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
