Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my shit smells like andre
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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