The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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