Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
