he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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