Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
