i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
