please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
