just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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