This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
