I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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