Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize