i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
