I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
