I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize