what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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