More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
These tits shall not be calmed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
