brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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