I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
