If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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