his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
