No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
