quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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