She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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