you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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