i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
