i just google imaged poop.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
