I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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