I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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