So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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