Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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