So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
