Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
