community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
