The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
