why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
