My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
