Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
