your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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