just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
