We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm too high and old for this...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
