Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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