you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Do vagina's smell?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
