i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
