He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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